Honorable Mention winners:
Quitting smoking would be detrimental to my health by halting my exercise program…I WALK to the store to buy my cigarettes
Any wimp can quit smoking, but it takes a man to face cancer.
Author name unknown
Hey, I’m building a new driveway, and I need the tar!
Shana E. Higgins
My dog wouldn’t recognize me by smell anymore.
Joan Cox Danzansky
I can’t quit smoking because I have not tried every brand of cigarette available. I am almost done with all American cigarettes and just bought my first pack from Spain.
I thought it was second hand smoke that killed you???
Angela S. Enslin
I am trying to develop a believable, hacking cough so the boss will buy the story when I choose to call in “sick”.
I need to smoke when I take the dog out for his walk and potty. Otherwise I am just standing there watching.
Now that tattoos, body piercing, hard rock, punk fashion and Harley’s have all become mainstream, smoking is the only way to get people to notice that I am rebelling.
If I quit I will have to sit with the dorks during lunch.
Deborah, Minnetonka, MN.
The car CAME with ashtrays for a REASON!!
I smoke to help digest dinner and if I didn’t smoke, I would keep eating until I EXPLODE!!
I haven’t really planned for my retirement so the only way to provide for my family is with a huge tobacco settlement.
It’s part of my personal style to speak with either a cigarette or a drink in my hand and if I give up smoking or drinking, I will be struck mute.
It’s a family tradition.
Who likes white teeth??
It’s a great people repellent.
There is some clean air left out there.
If I keep smoking the Doctor’s won’t get lonesome.
I’m lobbying for my right to smoke in elevators… non-smokers are the healthy ones, so let them take the stairs!
It took me years to find a brand who’s pack matches my eyes
All my friends do it, and since I was busy when they all jumped off the bridge, I need some way to feel included (this is the one I give my mother).
Halloween is cheaper, since all I have to do is stop for a few hours while at the costume party and tell people I’m dressed as a non-smoker.
If you lived here you’d smoke too—
My cigarette company just started to offer free gifts with UPC’s. Just 10 more cartons and I get a free lighter. I said I would quit when I decided to have kids. I just decided that I don’t want to have kids.
My husband only vomits occasionally after kissing me and my nicotine breath….
It keeps my (prissy) mother-in-law away!! (cancer beats HER any day!)
My glasses and computer screen would not be hazy and the glare would really damage my eyes.
I am a very nervous person. I smoke to keep calm. My doctor said that if I quit smoking I would probably die from a heart attack.
I have 5 minute breaks between hacking my lungs out so it can’t be that bad!
I’ve only just learnt how to make smoke-rings and I need the practice.
I haven’t quit smoking yet because I got a great deal on a pack of 50 lighters.
We’ve all got to die from something!
Quitters never win, winners never quit.
I would but the first pack I bought the warning was cigarettes are addictive and the warnings never lie.
What else am I going to do during my cigarette breaks.
I haven’t quit smoking because I do not like to follow the crowd…..everybody is quitting these days.
I haven’t quit smoking because I’m hoping to be discovered by some agent to appear in a commercial about some new and exciting “tooth whitening” process!
Stupidity dominates my intelligence.
I can’t quit smoking until ALL my teeth are the same color, again.
I can’t quit smoking just yet, I almost have enough Marlboro ‘miles’ for that Marlboro ‘car’ in the catalog”.
Mialayne, Mobile, Alabama
If I quit smoking I can’t count on my mother-in-law dying from second hand smoke.
I gotta keep smoking; how else can I guarantee early retirement?
Thomas C. Putnam, Ph.D.
I have yet to quit because the surgeon general hasn’t said that smoking WILL cause cancer….or has he?