“Top 10 reasons Philip Morris finally admitted that cigarette smoking is addictive”

10. Philip Morris admitted smoking is addictive to help the government to persuade addictive personalities to switch from pot and other illegal substances to a taxed drug that can be bought anywhere but church and school.

9. So people know there’s a cheap alternative to heroin.

8. So smokers will stop trying to quit.

7. He said it when he was delirious from withdrawal. His lawyers wouldn’t give him his cigarettes unless he confessed.

6. Philip Morris admitted that smoking is addictive in hopes of creating laughter in the administrative offices to prevent employees from wanting to sue them too.

5. It’s all a big government conspiracy. They’re trying to distract people’s attention while the government relocates the martians that crashed at Roswell, New Mexico.

4. They changed their marketing campaign. They’re now implementing the “truth in advertising” approach!

3. Luke Skywalker used a Jedi mind trick to get the executives to tell the truth.

2. April fools!

and the #1 reasons Philip Morris finally admitted that cigarette smoking is addictive…

1. Hell just froze over.

The Top 10 Authors:

• Brian Jeffers - 1
• Kim Lawson - 2
• Will Bright - 3
• SDK - 4
• John Aarons - 5
• Terry Helmstetter – 6, 10
• Randy Todd II - 7
• Mary Arndt – 8, 9

Congratulations to the winners!