10. Smoking is bad for you cause it’s not the cough that gets you off—it’s the coffin they carry you off in.
9. Rotting fish smell better than me.
8. It’ll ruin my eyesight trying to read all those stupid warnings on the side of cigarette packets.
7. My mom said she’d “knock me out” if she ever saw me smoking.
6. “Holy Smokes!” will be the brand you soon will be smokin’, if ya keep on smokin’!
5. Smoking does make you cool, you’ll be cooling 6 feet under a lot sooner.
4. My lungs were already in bad shape after singing “Row, Row, Row Your Boat” three years straight in a quest for a world record.
3. My cigarette butt collection has outgrown my apartment.
2. It’s not the smoking that’s bad for me. It’s the quitting that’s killing me.
and the #1 reason smoking is bad for me…
1. Smoking makes me hungry for greasy foods, candy, potato chips, butter, fried chicken, regular sodas (not diet), cake, cookies, regular beer (not lite), Ho Hos, popcorn cooked in coconut oil, fried eggs with a side of bacon and hash browns, cream pies, cotton candy, milk (whole), cheese curls, chocolate-chip pancakes, meat-lovers pizza, Krispy Kreme doughnuts, hot wings and everything they eat on Fear Factor.
The Top 10 Authors:
Congratulations to the winners!