“Top 10 ways to light a cigarette when you don’t have a lighter or a match”


10. I liked the toaster. Every once in a while I’d get lucky and my cigarette would taste like honey wheat bagel.

9. Put your hair in a ski cap and stick your head in the oven

8. Don’t light it….it would be a good time to quit!

7. To light a cigarette with out matches or lighters, lift the pan containing your bacon and eggs and light your cigarette off the gas burner. You’ll be getting a 2 for 1 that way—high cholesterol and nicotine—both will kill you.

6. Stand over an erupting volcano (bonus: you get a trip to Hawaii)

5. Stand on a skyscraper holding a large metal rod during a storm

4. Find an obliging dragon!

3. Steal my brothers magnifying glass to see if it will light it like it does grasshoppers.

2. Join the circus where there’s always a fire eater around when you need a light.

and the #1 way to light a cigarette when you don’t have a lighter or a match…

1. Look for a burning building

The Top 10 Authors:

  • Kim Stockwell - 1, 4
  • Dorie Villarreal - 2, 6
  • Ashley Nickell - 3
  • Lance Jilbert - 5
  • Anonymous - 7
  • A.J. Maimbourg - 8
  • Rachel Supinger - 9
  • Perkinsbear - 10

Congratulations to the winners!


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