“Top 10 ways you’ll spend your share of the $145 billion tobacco settlement.”

10. Buy new lungs.

9. Buy an island where I can’t buy cigarettes, then detox for 2 months.

8. Count all the money during the extra 1750 hours I have every year that I used to spend smoking.

7. You can’t buy anything for a nickel these days.

6. Buy some stock in Phillip Morris - NOT

5. If the Government doesn’t take it all in taxes, I might be able to afford a pack of cigarettes.

4. Throw a huge party, then start law suits against the beer manufacturers.

3. Buy a tobacco farm.

2. A pack of smokes to celebrate with.

and the #1 way you’ll spend your share of the $145 billion tobacco settlement….

1. My share? You mean there’s $ left after the lawyers?

The Top 10 Authors:

  • Catdaddy - 1
  • Joe Quimby - 2
  • Anonymous - 3
  • Cary Long - 4
  • Gary Woodard - 5
  • Mary Ann Hagemann - 6
  • Chip Norton - 7, 10
  • David Samples - 8
  • Maureen Hassett - 9

Congratulations to the winners!

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