“Top 10 worthless New Year’s resolutions I made, rather than resolving to quit smoking”
10. I resolve to scrape enough of the sticky stuff off Post-It Notes so I can stick myself to the front of my house, and scare kids on Halloween.
9. For New Year’s, I resolve to collect dryer lint.
8. I resolve to save electricity by popping my toast before it is done.
7. I resolve to be nicer to my pet rock.
6. I resolve to coast more while driving, to save gas.
5. I’ll give up drinking rather than smoking, since I never drank anyway.
4. I resolve not to get my haircut. I get one fee when my hair goes up in flames, when it’s in the way of my lighter.
3. I resolve to clean my knuckles daily.
2. I resolve to quit making my life complicated. Please hand me a smoke!
And the top worthless New Year’s resolutions I made, rather than resolving to quit smoking…
1. I resolve to be nice! I can’t without a smoke!
The Top 10 Authors:
- Donna Mlady - 1, 2, 4, 5
- Sherri Simon - 3
- Anonymous - 6
- Diane Harris - 7
- Dave Kale - 8
- Susan Hoffman - 9
- Henry F. - 10
Congratulations to the winners!
