What Are You Pretending Not to Know About Smoking?

One of my favorite authors is Jack Canfield, one of the co-authors of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series. I was listening to a set of tapes that Canfield produced with his co-author, Mark Victor Hansen, called The Aladdin Factor.

On one of the tapes, Canfield poses an absolutely penetrating question: “What are you pretending not to know?”

I had never heard this question before, but it made so much sense, mainly because I knew there were things in my life I had pretended I did not know.

I remember as a small child my mother had enrolled me in a gymnastics class. When I arrived on the first day, I discovered I was the only boy in the class. I felt out of place and very uncomfortable. The class began and the teacher had us doing some simple tumbling exercises, including cartwheels. Several of the girls attempted cartwheels but didn’t quite get them right. Then my turn came. I knew how to do cartwheels; in fact, I could nail a perfect “10” cartwheel without thinking twice. But you know what I did? I pretended I couldn’t do a cartwheel so I wouldn’t look like a sissy! I didn’t come back for lesson two.

Other times throughout my life I pretended not to know things. After hearing Canfield’s question I began examining why I feigned ignorance.

I discovered the following reasons why we pretend not to know:

• Self-preservation: Ignorance is bliss, as they say, and pretending is a method of self-preservation. Haven’t you sometimes ignored the truth, hoping a problem would just go away? If a problem is overwhelming, ignoring it may seem to be the only way to deal with it.
• Avoiding responsibility: This is probably the biggest reason people pretend they don’t know something. If you pretend you didn’t know the speed limit was 35, maybe the cop will let you off with a warning when he pulls you over going 55. If you pretend you don’t know how to do something in your job, you can get somebody else to do it.
• Avoiding effort (aka avoiding work, aka laziness): This is really part of “avoiding responsibility”, but it is unique enough to separate them. The person who pretends not to know to avoid effort is saying “I honestly don’t know, although I do have a vague idea, and I could easily find out for certain, but that would take work. And I don’t care to know because then I’d have to take responsibility for it and do something about it.” If I pretend I don’t know where the garlic press goes when I’m emptying the dishwasher, then my wife will put it in the correct drawer for me
• Fear of failure: Pretending you don’t know how to do something gives you an excuse if you fail at it. If you are afraid to fail at something, you can pretend you don’t know how to do it, thus justifying your failure or your avoidance of attempting something at all.
• Fear of success: Why would anyone be afraid to succeed? When you succeed, you step outside of your comfort zone, and that of your family and friends. Your success can be scary to them and you. Success also brings added responsibility (there’s that word again). As with fear of failure, pretending not to know offers you an excuse for not trying to succeed.
• Hiding a weakness: Perhaps this reason for pretending sums up all the other reasons. At the heart of each reason is a weakness in your knowledge or your ability or your character. Everyone has some weakness that they want to hide from the world. The funny thing about smokers is that their weakness is on display for the whole world to see every time they smoke. Yet, what smokers try to hide is their inability to control their behavior and quit.

So now comes the part where this all relates to you as a smoker. What are you pretending not to know about smoking? About quitting? When you pretend not to know something, you pretend something else in its place.

For example, if you pretend not to know that smoking is addictive, by default you are pretending that smoking isn’t addictive. Even the cigarette companies have finally admitted that they are.

Are you pretending that smoking doesn’t really cause health problems? Please! Smoking kills hundreds of thousands of pretending people each year. You can’t pretend to be alive after you are dead.

Are you pretending that your smoking doesn’t influence your children? Children of smokers are much more likely to smoke than children of non-smokers.

Are you pretending that your second-hand smoke doesn’t cause health problems for your children? Children of smokers have higher levels of asthma, ear infections, respiratory problems and other serious illnesses.

Are you pretending that your smoking habit isn’t expensive? If you smoke just one pack per day, at $3 per pack, you are spending $1095 every year! Your health and life insurance is as much as double the cost for non-smokers.

When it comes to quitting, are you pretending you don’t know how to quit? Quitting resources are available in abundance from QuitSmoking.com or many other sources. Much of it is free.

Are you pretending quitting is impossible? Literally millions of people have quit smoking successfully.

Are you pretending that no one understands what you are going through? Quit feeling sorry for yourself and talk with other smokers who are dealing with the same issues. Read and post messages on our quit smoking forum.

Are you pretending that you’ll quit “tomorrow”? Do I have to say it? Tomorrow never comes. Quitting starts today, even if you set a quit date sometime in the future. Don’t put off quitting until some vague day to come.

Are you pretending that quitting will be easy? If it’s so easy, why haven’t you quit yet? This goes back to pretending that you’ll quit tomorrow. Quitting takes effort. Smoking is easy.

Are you pretending that quitting will be hard? Quitting is either hard or easy, depending on your attitude, your body, your mind, your desire. It doesn’t have to be hard if you believe it will be easy, prepare yourself for quitting properly, and find a method that works for you. You may have to try quitting several times to find your method. Guess what? The method that finally works for you is easy!

What are you pretending about smoking and quitting? The next time you catch yourself pretending, stop, and tell yourself the truth instead.

You know the truth. YOU KNOW THE TRUTH.

It’s time to stop pretending, be honest with yourself, and end the fantasy. Your doctor and your family have been honest about your smoking for years. Face the facts. Expect some pain. Admitting that you have lied to yourself for years isn’t easy.

But if you persist in pretending, don’t act surprised when your health gets worse and your life is cut short.