The Quit Smoking Report Ezine

The Quit Smoking Report 08/17/99

Published on the first and third Tuesday of each month

Brought to you by The Quit Smoking Company
http://www.quitsmoking.com

In this issue:

<> Letter from the Editor
<> Article: Forgive Yourself For Smoking
<> A Word From Our Sponsor
<> Smokers' Stories

You can read previous issues of The Quit Smoking Report on our
web site. Just visit: http://www.quitsmoking.com/ezine/

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LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

Hello again everyone!

Man, am I exhausted, but at the same time renewed! I just got
back from a three-day river trip. I went down the Savannah
River, starting in Augusta, Georgia, traveling 180 miles to
Savannah. The trip is unique because we traveled on personal
watercraft (PWCs), better known as Jet Skis or Sea Doos.

If you've ever had the opportunity to ride a PWC, you know how
exhilarating and fun they can be. Now imagine traveling 180
miles down a winding river, in just one day!

The second day, the tour group made a day trip through some
rivers and intra-coastal waterways around Savannah. We returned
from Savannah to Augusta on the third day.

The scenery and excitement helped me to relax and forget my
troubles and responsibilities. The day after I returned I
noticed a bruise on my arm the size of a softball. The crazy
thing is, I have no idea how that bruise got there! The point is
that I was injured, yet I didn't even know it. I was so involved
in having fun and enjoying the day that I didn't even realize
that I had been hurt.

Keeping yourself distracted when you quit smoking is very
important. You should strive to achieve such a distraction that
you don't even realize that you are having cravings, until after
you have quit. You want to be able to look back and say, "Wow! I
quit smoking, but I don't remember feeling cranky."

Easier said, than done, I know! But plan ahead to give yourself
plenty of distraction when you begin your quit. Have plenty of
interesting, stimulating activities planned for yourself. Make
sure that you are busy with a job or hobby or something that is
relaxing, engrossing, and not stressful.

By the way, if you have a PWC and would like to go on one of
these river trips, I highly recommend Discovery River Tours.
This is one of the most fun trips I have ever taken! Discovery
River Tours will take care of everything, from food, to gas, to
hotel accommodations and transportation. You do need to bring
your own PWC. You can see their web site at
http://www.pwctours.com

+++

[Note: the following offer has expired]

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I have accessed the Internet since 1995 through Mindspring. They
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customer service.

They just announced a generous referral program that allows
existing customers to receive $60 for each new customer they
refer to Mindspring. Plus, each new customer will receive $60
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Here's what I'm going to do: If you are looking for a superior
Internet Service Provider, you can't do better than Mindspring.
If you open a new account with Mindspring and give them my email
address (fredk@mindspring.com), I'll receive a $60 credit, which
I will donate completely to the American Cancer Society. Plus,
you'll get $60 back, in $10 per month credits, starting in month
two.

Here's what you need to do to sign up and get the credit. You
must follow these instructions to the letter!

1. Call toll free 1-888-MSPRING (1-888-677-7464).

2. To get the special deal you MUST say "I'd be happier
using MindSpring" to the sales representative.

3. When asked who referred you to Mindspring, tell them
fredk@mindspring.com

4. You must prepay the first month's service with a credit card.

Please note: My donation is limited to $1,000. This donation is
not specifically authorized or endorsed by Mindspring or The
American Cancer Society.

I know you'll be happy with Mindspring, and the American Cancer
Society will be appreciative of the donation.

This is a limited-time offer, so call Mindspring today and start
or switch your service!

+++

Remember, you can read previous issues of The Quit Smoking
Report on our web site. Just visit:
http://www.quitsmoking.com/ezine/

Fred Kelley
fredk@quitsmoking.com
The Quit Smoking Company

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ARTICLE: Forgive Yourself For Smoking

By Fred H. Kelley

"We cling to our bad feelings and beat ourselves with the past
when what we should do is let go of it, like Peter did. Once
your let go of guilt, then you go out and change the world."
-- James Carroll

Carroll is referring to Peter, a disciple of Jesus who, when
faced with questions about his relationship to Jesus, three
times denied any connection. Later, Peter went on to help spread
Christianity throughout the world.

While this article isn't about religion, the example of Peter's
great guilt over his denials of Christ, and his overcoming of
his shame and guilt, exemplify the importance of self-
forgiveness.

Forgiving yourself leads to great things!

Whether you've smoked for a year or a lifetime, you probably
have experienced guilt or shame about smoking. Many smokers feel
shame over their own failure to control themselves. Others feel
guilt over the perceived "sin" of smoking. Still others hide
their smoking from society's persecution of "obnoxious, weak,
unconcerned, polluting, smelly" smokers, due to feeling ashamed.

Guilt and shame paralyze and polarize. The sad thing about guilt
and shame is that it is often the result of incorrect
perceptions of a situation. Have you ever wronged another
person, then felt guilty for it? Did you avoid that person for a
long time? When you finally got back together with that person
you may have found that they had forgiven you long ago, and they
wished that you were in their life again. How much time did you
waste feeling guilty?

Many smokers, in an effort to make themselves feel better, tell
themselves "I've smoked this long. It's too late now for me to
quit. I might as well keep on smoking." They may think they are
forgiving themselves, but the reality is they are only making
excuses. There's a big difference between making excuses and
truly forgiving. An excuse denies the reality of a problem.
Forgiveness acknowledges a problem, yet moves beyond the
problem.

To forgive your own smoking, you must admit to yourself that you
have a problem that began in the past. Acknowledge the past, but
also acknowledge that the past is over and can never be changed.
What's done is done, now you must move on. Forgive yourself for
starting to smoke. Did you smoke to be disobedient to your
parents or other authority figure? Acknowledge that this
happened and that it may have been wrong, but what's done is
done. Are you ashamed that you have become dependent on a drug?
There are many reasons why this has happened, many of which you
were probably unaware of at the time. Forgive yourself for
falling into the trap. Millions of people are right there with
you. You are not alone, so don't beat yourself up for it.

The goal of forgiveness is renewal. On the other side of guilt
is a new freedom. By freeing yourself from feeling inadequate
over old shortcomings, you empower yourself to achieve great
results. When you are no longer trapped in self-doubt and self-
pity you can overcome any obstacle. You can look at smoking
objectively and turn away from it at last. Change what you can
change; don't worry about the rest.

If you ask yourself who's to blame for your smoking habit, you
could probably come up with three or four answers: yourself, the
tobacco companies, your parents, your friends. Whoever or
whatever the cause for your habit, forgive. It really doesn't
matter anymore. What you want to concern yourself with now is
moving past smoking. You'll never do that until you let go of
the guilt and shame and blame, and simply let go of all of it.
What matters is that you quit.

It's odd how the things we desire the least can control us the
most. Instead of focusing on the negative past, draw your
attention to your positive future. Forgive your past and get
excited about today, because today you can do something amazing!

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SMOKERS' STORIES

If you can help these folks with your suggestions please send
them email.

Heidi Hubbard <heidih@uidaho.edu> writes:
Subject: Quit Smoking Story

I am 49 years old. I started smoking when I was 16 years old and
smoked for 24 years. I quit 9 years ago. It wasn't easy, but it
wasn't that hard either. I was weak and now I am strong.

I smoked because I was nervous. Now I know I was nervous because
I smoked. It was the nicotine.

Don't tell me you smoke so you won't gain weight. I was 65
pounds overweight when I smoked!

I feel better now. Life is better and I am very proud of myself
because I quit.

+++

Fran L. <linkochek@worldnet.att.net> writes:
Subject: Surgery and the Cigarette....A Short Story

I have been a smoker for 35 years. I started back in the 60's
when it was "cool" and cigarettes cost 25 cents a pack. I use to
use my lunch money to get a pack of cigarettes and have 10 cents
left over to get an ice cream bar. I use to baby sit for 50
cents an hour and after four hours I had enough to buy a carton
of cigarettes for $ 2.00.

When my husband was in the Army in Texas in 1966 my girlfriends
and I use to collect soda bottles we found and cash them in for
cigarette money.

It was easier cash wise as we earned more money through the
years, but the cost of cigarettes always went higher than we
expected-but I kept right on smoking. I have gone to a Seven-
Eleven at 3:00 a.m. because I was in fear of running out!!!

Well, I have been in a lot of pain for the past couple of years
and after extensive tests from A to Z, I need a series of
operations to correct my neck, lower back and left shoulder. It
is a combination of degenerative arthritis and lord knows what
else.

My surgeon informed me that I will not heal and the fusion that
he will do on my neck will not work if I smoke. He said I can
suffer and smoke-or stop and he will make me better. He is a top
man in his field and he repaired Jose Consenco of the Tampa Bay
Devil Rays Baseball Team, so I guess he knows his stuff.

My first operation is August 17th, and it has been almost five
weeks that I have been smoke free..I think I am going to make
it!!

I was angry and hostile at first that a doctor could not only
tell me to stop smoking-but he could MAKE me stop!!! He held my
health in the palm of his hand and this irritated me to no end.
I actually stopped to prove to him that I could do it-but I have
recently realized that I did it for ME!!!

I have cleaned the house, washed the walls and ceilings,
shampooed the carpets, cleaned the upholstery, and used Fabreeze
by the gallon to eliminate the smell of smoke from my house.

My husband quit many years ago and he is really proud of me, as
is my son and grandson(who is highly allergic to smoke). My
doctor said that he will make me feel like a new woman and I am
going to hold him to this...

It's really wonderful and sad at the same time, that a serious
operation was what I needed to push me forward to stop smoking.
God, I hope I am strong enough to stay with this. I think I am-
no- I know I am.

Fran L.

+++

Stephany Wright <rockhopper_7@hotmail.com> writes:
Subject: My Story

I started smoking my freshman year of college, and was hooked
from the start. A friend had told me it would help to relieve
stress, and would help prevent weight gain. If I only knew then
what I know now!

I was athletic, playing basketball and soccer for many years,
and I threw it all away to become a smoker. My parents, to say
the least, were very disappointed. They both have never smoked,
and they couldn't understand why I couldn't, or wouldn't quit.

I tried many times to quit, mostly going cold turkey. The
longest I ever made it was 6 months. I couldn't believe after 6
months I started back up again! Every time I went back to
smoking, I had not only gained weight, but also smoked more when
I came back to them.

I recently decided to quit again. I picked August 2nd, because
it is my wedding anniversary, and thought that would be an easy
date for me to remember. However, last night, I smoked like 6
cigs. I was very disappointed in myself. I don't think that
makes me a failure, because I threw the remaining cigs, and
started over this morning. Luckily, my husband is going to quit
as well. After being smoke free for a few days, and then
lighting one up last night, it tasted terrible, and I hope I can
remember how that made me feel, and how I felt this morning.
Those few days after quitting, I had more energy (also because I
walk 3-4 miles a day), my chronic headaches were going away, my
breathing was better, and my chest felt better. At first I was
worried about the weight gain, but with the amount of exercising
I do now, and what I plan to do each day I know that won't be an
issue. Even if it is, I can always take it back off. I have
decided that it is better to be smoke-free and have a little
weight to take off, than be a smoker without the ability to
exercise!

SO I guess I am back to day one, but I know that with the
support my co-workers have been giving me, and the support my
husband gives me, I can do it, and feel better, both physically
and mentally.

+++

Rahul Mookerjee <rmookerj@ocean.otr.usm.edu> writes:
Subject: that old trap.....

Hey Fred. Firstly, I'd like to say thank you to you for
maintaining such a cool site..it's really been helpful to me and
a lot of people I know who've been trying to quit smoking. I'm
currently 18 years old and a college sophomore. I started
smoking when I was about 15. In my case, peer pressure was never
really the case, funnily enough. However, even though I knew all
the ill-effects of smoking, I still associated it with a certain
glamour and style..anyway, so most of my friends were smokers.
And, while none of them ever really told me to smoke, I myself
started to smoke to fit in, and what was terrible about all this
was that I fell into the oldest trap of all (mentally that is)
and one that all the cigarette companies so cunningly prey upon
and make big bucks while doing it..which is that just one or two
a day will not get me addicted or that occasional smoking does
not get one hooked on to it. Anyway, I was 15 when I started,
and to cut a long sob-story short, I was well and truly addicted
by 17 by which time I was up to 2 packs a day along with all the
other ailments like practically no stamina, coughing etc.

Then, early this year, I decide to quit ,cold turkey. I did
manage to do this ,and it was tough..but I tried substituting
smoking with other activities like swimming, or sitting at a
computer..and I did this successfully for about 3 months. Then I
came home for my vacations (summer)and I got bored ,there was
nothing much to do ,as compared to college. I'm sure most people
of my age feel that way in the vacations. And then, I was, like,
why not smoke a bit just to ease the monotony, and I again fell
into that trap, that just smoking a bit will not get me hooked
on again.

And, here I am, 1 and half a months later smoking up to a pack a
day again. And, this means that all I had done for those 3
months was effectively fool myself that I had quit, because if I
had well and truly quit, then I shouldn't have even felt like
smoking to ease the monotony, right? I guess another way of
putting that is: Once a smoker, always a smoker!! Anyway, all
you smokers out there trying to quit, PLEASE, whatever you do,
don't fall into this same trap! There is no such thing as
smoking less or more. It has to be either smoking or non-smoking
,so to speak. Anyway, an uphill battle lies ahead for me again.

The reason I wrote this is because when I read other
subscriber's stories here, I can identify with some of them and
this makes it easier for me, subconsciously (well, at least a
bit easier!). Anyway, again a big thumbs-up to Fred for his cool
site..keep up the good work!! And lastly, to all you quitters
out there, I hope reading this makes it a bit more easier for
you to say to yourself that is time to quit and quit for
good..as I hope to do real soon.

+++

Melissa K. writes:

Here's my story. I don't think you'll put it in your newsletter
but if you did it would help a lot of teens out there.

I'm 15 years old and I've been smoking since I was 12 or 13. I
thought I'd be so cool if I smoked. The only people that thought
I was cool were the people that used me for my cigarettes. I
lost all of my friends that didn't smoke, they totally didn't
approve. Kids make fun of me at lunch when I have to smoke
across the street from my high school. It's not cool, it's not
fun. I've also been smoking a pack a day for awhile. Waking up
and not being able to breathe is not fun or cool either. My
smokers cough isn't either. I wish my mother would have talked
to me at an early age about what smoking does to you. So you
parents out there please do me a favor and tell your kids the
dangers of smoking. Bring them to the doctors so they can
explain and show pictures of what it does to your lungs and just
bug the **** outta your kids until you are absolutely 100% sure
they will never ever smoke in their entire lifetime. I painfully
regret it and fear the day that I might find out I have cancer
or emphysema. Right now I'm about the leave and go to buy the
nicotine gum. Hopefully this will be the last time I smoke. I
would really appreciate some support from people to help me get
through this.

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UNSUBSCRIBE SUCCESS STORY

When a subscriber to this ezine has quit successfully and asks
to be taken off the list, I ask them to tell their success
story. Here is this issue's story:

Charlotte Lamb <charlottel@webtv.net> writes:
Subject: I have quit smoking. Thank you for all the great
articles and advice.

Thank you. I just made up my mind that I would quit smoking. I
had quit before but everyone around me smoked so it was hard to
quit. I hope I stay quit also. I believe I will. I was quit for
5 years before. It has been 2 months this time. I'm getting
older now and I just want to stay healthy. I used Zyban to help
with the cravings. There is no great secret to quitting. Number
one you have to want to quit. I have seen so many people die
from COPD other diseases that I just don't want to be one of
them. It is really hard to quit and stay quit. My husband and my
friends still smoke but they don't want to quit so these past 2
months have been really hard. You just have to have willpower
and the good Lord to help you. I do thank you for taking an
interest in smokers.

You are doing a wonderful job. Just keep the good work up.
Smokers need all the help they can get.

See you later,
Lambchop

====================

Where's your story? I'd sure like to share it with the other
subscribers to this email list. Submit Your Smoker's Story

I hope to hear from you!

Next Issue: 09/07/99

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You can find additional helpful quit smoking tips and
information at http://www.quitsmoking.com/quitinfo.htm

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Until next time, FORGIVE YOURSELF AND BE FREE,

Fred Kelley

The Quit Smoking Company
Phone: 770-346-9222
Fax: 770-475-5007
Web: http://www.quitsmoking.com
Email: mailto:fredk@quitsmoking.com

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© Copyright 1999 Fred H. Kelley
This email may be freely distributed and forwarded
as long as the entire email remains intact.

DISCLAIMER: I am not a doctor or professional therapist.
The information included in this email is my opinion and the
opinions of the people sending in their comments.
Fred Kelley and The Quit Smoking Company make no warranties,
either expressed or implied, about the truth or accuracy of the
contents of The Quit Smoking Report.

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