Get a Free
Shortcut
Icon for Your Desktop
Quit Smoking
With Smoke Away
Sponsor
View Shopping Cart
Checkout Now
Quit Smoking With the
E-Z Quit Artificial Cigarette
Proudly Serving The
Internet Since
June, 1997
Link Partners:
How to Quit Smoking
The Greatest Vitamin In The World
As Seen On TV Products
Perfume
Stop Smoking
Teeth And Gums
Sanibel Island
Submit URL
Smoke Away
Smoking Top 10 List Archives
Published 04/18/00
Latest List & Winners | Previous Lists | Contribute to Next List | Rules
"Top 10 ways you've tried to quit smoking"
10. Simple: "Will"-power. My estranged wife gets everything if I die, according to my will. My attorney hasn't had time to change it. She's not getting my stuff!
9. Put my last cigarette in the middle of the floor surrounded by mouse traps and tacks, and allow my self one Twinkie for each body part not injured in the resurrection of break dancing!
8. I switched careers to become an astronaut since you can't smoke in the Space Shuttle.
7. I called a psychic hotline and they said I would quit smoking. You know they are NEVER wrong.
6. Switched to smoking yard mulch.
5. I decided to quit smoking so I used straws filled with honey to help with the oral habit, but had to go back to puffing so the smoke would scare the bees away.
4. I had a baby to motivate me to quit. Now I'm trying to figure out how to put my 18 kids through college.
3. I pretend I'm Bill Clinton and lie to myself that I never smoked in the first place.
2. Told my wife her mother can stay with us if she ever catches me smoking again. I've been smoke-free for 3 years!
and the #1 way you've tried to quit smoking...
1. I'm smoking!?? Put it out! Put it out!
The Top 10 Authors:
Clark - 1, 7
Barry Leonard - 2
Kim Broy - 3, 4
Terry Helmstetter - 5
Craig Sollman - 6
Cyndi Trabber - 8
Liz - 9
Helen - 10
Congratulations to the winners!
You can contribute to the next top 10 list. Give your funny bone a workout!