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Smoking Top 10 List Archives
Published 08/15/00
Latest List & Winners | Previous Lists | Contribute to Next List | Rules
"Top 10 ways you'll spend your share of the $145 billion tobacco settlement."
10. Buy new lungs.
9. Buy an island where I can't buy cigarettes, then detox for 2 months.
8. Count all the money during the extra 1750 hours I have every year that I used to spend smoking.
7. You can't buy anything for a nickel these days.
6. Buy some stock in Phillip Morris - NOT
5. If the Government doesn't take it all in taxes, I might be able to afford a pack of cigarettes.
4. Throw a huge party, then start law suits against the beer manufacturers.
3. Buy a tobacco farm.
2. A pack of smokes to celebrate with.
and the #1 way you'll spend your share of the $145 billion tobacco settlement....
1. My share? You mean there's $ left after the lawyers?
The Top 10 Authors:
Catdaddy - 1
Joe Quimby - 2
Anonymous - 3
Cary Long - 4
Gary Woodard - 5
Mary Ann Hagemann - 6
Chip Norton - 7, 10
David Samples - 8
Maureen Hassett - 9
Congratulations to the winners!
You can contribute to the next top 10 list. Give your funny bone a workout!