Smoking Top 10 List Archives

Published 12/19/00

"Top 10 signs that you're sitting in the non-smoking section of the restaurant."

10. The AIR IS SO CLEAN, you can see your future!

9. You have an excellent view of the smokers huddled outside in the rain, "enjoying" their smokes.

8. The waiters don't look like soldiers under a gas attack.

7. Your waitress refers to the smoking section as "The Dark Side."

6. The "Enter at your own risk" signs are not on this side of the restaurant.

5.All desserts start with the title "Nico-free", ie; nico-free ice cream.( this replacing fat free deserts that the smoking section gets ).

4. When you receive your blackened fish, you are confident it doesn't mean "rubbed on the walls for extra color."

3. No "This heart attack was brought to you by Phillip Morris" advertisements.

2. You order the smoked salmon, and it comes with the "patch".

and the #1 sign that you're sitting in the non-smoking section of the restaurant...

1. You hear insults from the smoking section referring to you as a, "Pink Lunged Sissy Boy."

The Top 10 Authors:

Pedro Nunez - 1, 3
Tim Williams - 2, 5
Jordan Hall- 4
Tim Klerry- 6
Cara Tunsly- 7
Jean - 8
Joanne Barnes - 9
Rob Van Horssen - 10

Congratulations to the winners!

You can contribute to the next top 10 list. Give your funny bone a workout!