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Smoking Top 10 List Archives
Published 5/17/01
Latest List & Winners | Previous Lists | Contribute to Next List | Rules
"Top 10 least popular ways to quit smoking."
10. Have your hands surgically removed! Ouch!
9. Have someone follow you around with a fire
extinguisher to put out every cigarette you try to light.
8. Move in with your nonsmoking mother-in-law.
7. Try quitting at the annual Marlboro man -Lung
barbeque burnoff!
6. Leave pack out of reach of your iron lung.
5. The "Steve Irwin (Croc Hunter) Method".
Glue a pack to the head of a 15 foot crocodile and resolve that your next
smoke will come from THAT pack.
4. Stitch lips closed. Eat through tube in arm.
3. Exchange your cigarettes for the saliva-ridden
plastic bone of Ricky, your dog.
2. Death
and the #1 least popular way to quit smoking...
1. Go to Martha Stewart’s house and lean over her
rug with a lit cigarette dangling out of mouth. (By the time they take you
out of ICU you will have gotten over the worst of the withdrawal.)
The Top 10 Authors:
Patricia Surrey – 1, 4, 6
Josh Fritsch, Patricia Surrey, Joanne Barnes - 2
Ng MinYu - 3
Josh Fritsch - 5
Rob Van Horssen - 7
Karen Denning - 8
Laura – 9, 10
Congratulations to the winners!
You can contribute to the next top 10 list. Give your funny bone a workout!