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Smoking Top 10 List Archives
Published 05/15/02
Latest List & Winners | Previous Lists | Contribute to Next List | Rules
"Top 10 ways to light a cigarette when you don't have a lighter or a match"
10. I liked the toaster. Every once in a while I'd get lucky and my
cigarette would taste like honey wheat bagel.
9. Put your hair in a ski cap and stick your head in the oven
8. Don't light it....it would be a good time to quit!
7. To light a cigarette with out matches or lighters, lift the pan
containing your bacon and eggs and light your cigarette off the gas
burner. You'll be getting a 2 for 1 that way--high cholesterol and
nicotine--both will kill you.
6. Stand over an erupting volcano (bonus: you get a trip to Hawaii)
5. Stand on a skyscraper holding a large metal rod during a storm
4. Find an obliging dragon!
3. Steal my brothers magnifying glass to see if it will light it like it
does grasshoppers.
2. Join the circus where there's always a fire eater around when you need
a light.
and the #1 way to light a cigarette when you don't have a lighter or a
match...
1. Look for a burning building
The Top 10 Authors:
Kim Stockwell - 1, 4
Dorie Villarreal - 2, 6
Ashley Nickell - 3
Lance Jilbert - 5
Anonymous - 7
A.J. Maimbourg - 8
Rachel Supinger - 9
Perkinsbear - 10
Congratulations to the winners!
You can contribute to the next top 10 list. Give your funny bone a workout!